Quite often, I find myself like this. I am a feminist (I think every self-respecting woman is, whether she likes the stigma behind the word or not. Keep in mind, feminism is a misnomer: it means gender equality, not female-domination). However, I often find myself in a state of paranoia about other women, for multiple reasons.
The first, of course, has to do with things in my past, and is more or less negligible. I’m paranoid around basically everyone for that reason, so you might just say I’m neurotic.
The second lies more in my culture than anything else. We, as people, (and maybe more so, women) are taught that we must be beautiful – that is our worth. We are taught that we must be THE MOST beautiful, otherwise we are not valuable. And we are taught that we must be vicious- hateful- fierce- in order to stay on top.
In a way, this makes evolutionary sense. We must be desirable to pass on our genes. However, as social animals, we also must rely on one another for survival. (Obviously, this isn’t really meant literally, since we are now a rather individualist society) In addition, our beauty standards defy logic, as a woman thin as a broomstick with balloon breasts would be incapable of carrying a child, and a man with wide shoulders and bulging muscles would likely have a testosterone overload and die young.
This isn’t where I meant to go with this. My point is, I – and my fellow women and men – spend an unhealthy amount of time worrying about their sexual desirability in comparison to others. We are at a point in our evolution (or development, if you prefer) where it is more logical to love our fellows than constantly try to tear them down to raise ourselves up.
Natural selection is still relevant, but maybe in a different way than it was. While brute strength and physical perfection was once vital, it isn’t any longer (as evidenced by our ever-increasing waistlines). Instead, intelligence has triumphed as the discerning quality in society. Perhaps we will come to realize that, if we do not first destroy the society we have created.
It is easier to say than to do, but try to take my advice to heart. In a society that seems to be spiraling downward in so many ways, I’m asking you to put down your proverbial swords and see things a little clearer. We don’t always have to hate each other. We don’t have to compete so desperately – not in the suburban utopia we have made our homes in.
It seems so over-said, so wishy-washy and cliché, but can’t we just love one another? Realize that we can love without sex, that we are more than that, and that we are better united than we ever could be divided.